The Beginning

I’ve been wanting to start a blog about my life with my husband, as we enter into a more dominant/submissive relationship. I hesitate to call us master and slave yet, as I know there is much to be achieved in our lifestyle before we reach that point in my mind, but I want to document the journey. Now is as good a time as any to begin. As much as I’ve wanted to start this blog, I’ve been procrastinating about it, since introductions have always been my weakness in writing. I never know how to begin. So I suppose I’ll begin by just telling you about us.

He is, for now, to be called my husband. I asked him for a title, such as Sir or Master, to call him by. He told me that would come with time, but he’s yet to decide what he wants to be called, so it will be a little while yet. So he is my husband. We have been married for five years, dating for a year prior to our marriage.

I’ve been into bondage for as long as I can remember. When I was a little girl, I would imagine being kidnapped, and I would tie my Barbie dolls up. When I was a teen, there were rape fantasies, mixed with the occasional kidnapping and repeated raping. After my husband and I started having sex, I started to try and let him on my kinks without shocking him too much. The first step was handing him a bandana and asking him to blindfold me. Another time, I asked him to pin my hands above my head. Eventually, I asked him to use a length of ribbon I had in my room to tie my wrists together. After a while, he was using rope to tie me down, blindfolding and gagging me. I was completely in my element. There was no spanking, in the beginning. Then, occasionally, a smack on the ass during sex. At some point, he purchased a thin wooden birthday paddle from Spencer’s Gifts, and began to use that on occasion.

We’ve come a long way now. We have a trunk filled on one side with lingerie. The other half has a rabbit vibrator, a pair of leather locking wrist cuffs with matching ankle cuffs and collar, two metal spreader bars, two homemade wooden spreader bars, a set of bamboo “tools” as the package called them (cooking utensils, a spoon, a spoon with holes in it - the term escapes me, and a spatula with holes in it, all made of heavy bamboo), several lengths of rope and chain, lots of small Master padlocks, a set of anal plugs in three sizes, a pair of tweezer-style nipple clamps with bells on the end, and a variety of lubes and massage oils, plus other odds and ends that I’m sure I’m forgetting. There are also three belts of varying intensity, which don’t reside in the trunk - the heaviest of which, its leather still stiff since it’s only a month old and has rarely been used, I took 10 licks from as I leaned over the end of the bed before he left for work today.

It’s only been three or four weeks since I told my husband I’d like to pursue a master/slave relationship. Some noticeable changes have taken place. The counting, for one. He counts infractions - whatever he chooses to count as one, which can change from day to day, though I generally know what will be counted - as licks. The infraction determines the number of licks, and he keeps a mental note of how many licks I’m at from one punishment session to the next. I never know which implement will be used for punishments. Though he’s talked of buying a punishment paddle, he hasn’t yet. My to-do list is another change. I’m a horrible procrastinator when it comes to cleaning, and I’m also not very good at taking care of myself in certain aspects. I rarely eat breakfast, never drink milk or water, and always forget my vitamins. So along with cleaning that needs to be done, those things are on my to-do list every day. I get licks added to my punishment for anything that isn’t finished at the end of the day. I have to print out the lists for the following week on Saturday nights, so he can look them over and make sure I’m not slacking off or working too hard. Another visible change is the collar around my neck. It’s eventually going to be used only when we’re visiting family and friends, to avoid questions, and I’ll have a Turian style collar for home. But for now I wear a thick shiny silver chain, connected in the front by a beautiful silver heart-shaped padlock.

There is more to say, but this is getting quite long enough, so I believe I’ll end here for now. There will be more later, I’m sure. While I do hope that this blog becomes somewhat well-known in the BDSM circles, I don’t really expect it to. We are just beginning after all, and I’m definitely an amateur when it comes to this lifestyle. I don’t really expect to have much remarkable to say, though I do hope to surprise myself as time goes on. Despite all that, if you wish to read as my journey goes on, please do. I’d be thrilled to have readers and comments as I mull over my thoughts and feelings.

-HeartShapedPadlock

P.S. For anyone who might be interested, the picture is my collar, and here is where we purchased it.