Trapped in the Closet

According to Wikipedia:

"'Trapped in the Closet' is a hip-hop opera released by R&B singer R. Kelly in the late summer and fall of 2005. The songs relate an ongoing narrative, which Kelly exploited by sending chapters to radio stations one at a time to generate interest. It has no chorus and is told in a conversational manner, using dramatics and cliffhangers between the episodes."

That series of songs is what popped into my mind earlier today when thinking back on last night. I slept in the closet. He said it was a "trial run" to see how I handled it. There was no lock on the doorknob, and my wrists cuffs weren't locked on. One was locked to a chain hanging down from the bar across the closet, but it wasn't locked onto my wrist. So I knew that if I got truly desperate, I could get out. He made me wear lingerie [this little number, in blueberry, if you must know ;)], and gave me permission to masturbate if I couldn't sleep and needed to pass the time ("tonight and only tonight," he said). He also blindfolded me and let me wear my iPod, so I couldn't see or hear if he was checking on me. That made masturbating kind of interesting... I never knew if he might be standing by, quietly watching me. Once I was settled in, he kissed me and left, closing the door after him. After that, I spent what seemed like ages trying to sleep, switching between trying to sleep, masturbating, and just tossing and turning. It could have been an hour, it could have been four. I lost all sense of time. I wasn't too bothered by being in there... I'm not claustrophobic, and our closet is pretty large anyway. He let me out when he went to work, and I had been dozing off and on for a while at least. I locked the door after him and crawled into a real bed, and slept soundly.

I think the whole thing would have had a bigger effect on me if I really were locked in. As it was, it was more a matter of I wouldn't get out, than I couldn't get out. I knew I could go out and take whatever punish would be given, if I felt desperate and couldn't get him to wake up. So I think it would effect me more if I was really locked in, unable to leave. And I think it would even more of an effect beyond that if it was used for a punishment. Being locked in and ignored.

But, as it was, I came out of there quiet. I didn't speak as I sat and waited for him to finish dressing and eating breakfast. I wasn't even really thinking. I felt kind of dazed. Maybe it was that floaty subspace that others talk about? It was definitely kind of a floaty feeling, lol. Hard to explain though...

Anyway, we had a couple of hours to ourselves on Saturday, and had fun... But I think I'm going to keep that memory to myself. A bamboo spatula got broken, I'll tell you that. ;-) And then last night I slept in the closet, and that was pretty much the extent to our weekend. Hope everyone else had a good weekend!